The Covid crisis has asked us all to grow comfortable with changes and interruptions in our lives. We as parents are undoubtedly educators everyday with our children, but we are not usually the ones in charge of academics. Yet overnight we have become the primary educators for our children. Classroom teachers may have given you a packet of work for your student. Your student may have on-line classes to attend or a schedule with mandatory attendance. Whatever manner of home education is taking place, one thing is clear- You are now a teacher.
Right now, students are at home, their parents are their teachers and that is different for them. They have school work that needs completed, or on-line classrooms to attend, or even tele-therapy, all of which requires their attention. What about all the things that help them at school? Or the various teachers that help, or give advice and support to help that student move? You don’t have that at home. It is you and your student. And their work. And their behavior. And your work. And maybe their siblings. Combine all these pulls on your time and attention and it’s no wonder parents are stressed out. Frustrated. Worn out. Ready to give up.
Maybe this new role started out fun. You were excited to become the perfect PInterest mom during Remote Learning. Maybe you were terrified. You had no idea that Google even had classrooms. Maybe you were nervous, wondering if you had what it took to be playing so many different roles in your child’s life. You may have been scared that you didn’t have what it takes to do this for weeks on end without breaks. No doubt the emotional roller coaster you and your children have been on this past month is taking its toll. You are not alone in this. All of these feelings are normal. The fact that you are feeling worn down or frustrated just shows what a good parent you are–whatever you are feeling, you care.
When we teach your children at school, we are in a bubble focused on teaching and learning,. We have supportive colleagues, materials, classmates, and so many things you just don’t have. But guess what? We sometimes feel excited, nervous, scared, worn down, frustrated, and ready to give up too. Let us share a few tips to help you feel more successful.
3 easy ways to foster success with at-home learning for all children
1) Start with a positive! Encouragement and praise are great motivators. The more specific, the better! Instead of “good job”, try “nice work staying focused on your teacher during zoom” or “good looking at your work!” Give praise and give it often. It will also make you feel good to be using positive language.
2) Build your child’s stamina. At school, we have many minor changes, transitions, and disruptions that allow students to focus on something else and then return to the task at hand. We don’t expect them to sit for hours, staring at papers or computers without some social times or movement breaks. Begin home learning tasks by asking them to do a portion of an assignment and increase expectations as stamina increases.
3) Take time to encourage engagement– Remote Learning will be a lot of long hours if all the attention is dependent on you doing work for your student. Take time to get them into the activity. Help them see a purpose or an application. If everyone treats Remote Learning as a chore that just has to get done, it will feel more challenging and less fun. Also, remind them that all of their friends are doing the same thing right now. Even if you are annoyed by a way something is being taught, don’t pass that to your child. Ask them to show you an example of this new way. Be excited to learn something new alongside your child.
3 more ideas for working with our students with autism spectrum disorder
1) Define what success will be for you– It might be sitting with attention for 10 minutes. We changed our Hour and a half expectation to an hour, and then a half hour, and then 15 minutes. Why? We realized 15 minutes of working with the student to sit and attend is going to set up much more success than powering through larger amounts of time with primarily parent-directed (or parent doing) learning. Both the student and parent won’t get much from learning this way- with a parent essentially doing the work and the student not really into the activity. Make the activity fit your students level of compliance/attention/engagement and build from there. This is a new approach for them. We never just jump right in without trying to set the student up for success when we are in the classroom. The same thing needs to be done at home.
2) Work harder on engagement/reinforcement- Job number one is to get your student looking at a screen or packet. We have taken to showing a student a favorite video to begin. Some students have liked to see their teachers or peers, but some have needed to simply look at a favorite thing. One teacher has used a model of one teaching slide followed by a slide of a favorite cartoon/book character (Pete the cat), so there is just enough time to work followed by a quick reinforcement. Give that positive reinforcement more often and be more clear with what you are praising.
3) Visuals are your friends– Use pictures to help model rules and behaviors. Make sure they are easy to reference. We have used a 3-panel sheet for what they should do when seated at the computer. When the student is squirming or trying to get up, this sheet can be shown to them. It interrupts the immediate behavior and gives them something salient to focus on as they hear your words.
- Be gentle with yourself. You are doing great. Your child’s teachers appreciate your partnership. They are rooting for you to succeed. Even if your child doesn’t show it now, they will be grateful for what you are doing and how you are helping them. They will look back at this time as one in which their parents were there for them.
- Find the joy connecting with your child. You will connect on new levels and in new ways. You will learn little things you didn’t know about your child and get new insight into how their minds work. You will get that incredible joy of seeing a lightbulb go on as they cement a new concept.
- Seek out support and coaching. Don’t isolate yourself. You may need a peer to vent to or brainstorm with. A fellow parent of a child with ASD may understand your frustrations and joys. You may want a teacher, therapist, or behavior specialist to work with YOU on how to increase your positive reinforcement or to help you create an effective visual for a specific problem. Know that the tools and strategies your child’s educators share with you are like tips that a coach gives players to execute a common goal.
Autism Immersed has coaches available for families who feel alone during Remote Learning. Whether you need help with engagement, behavior, or academic content, we have someone to help you. You are not alone.
Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information about coaching.